If you’re like me, you love working within the community association industry for its variety, diversity and challenge. No two days are ever the same. However, for all of us who find ourselves refereeing community conflict, fixing people’s castles and problem solving neighborhood issues, life can get a wee bit stressful. However, as long as no one is bleeding and no home is sliding down a hill, we should be able to take a breath, smell the roses, and maybe even laugh for a moment to appreciate the sometimes wacky world upon which we work.

In this vein, this week’s email detours from the usual serious legal stuff to something on the lighter side. There will be a test at the end.

Which one of the following community association “war stories” is fabricated?

1. A WWII veteran’s request to fly Old Glory from a flag pole in his front yard was denied by an HOA because the board felt it damaged the aesthetics of the community. The board president recommended that the resident fly his flag from a “short stanchion” in compliance with the CC&Rs. Furthermore, the president stated, “federal standards require that unless the displayer of the flag takes it down at night, it must be illuminated.” Imagine how the president felt when the resident installed illumination for his stanchion—which simultaneously cast bright light directly into the president’s bedroom.

2. A condominium was experiencing vandalism related to a construction remediation job. Every time the construction company installed temporary sheathing at one unit, the plywood was destroyed, unit vandalized and public access provided to the condominium’s lobby. The board installed a webcam and was surprised when the discovered the identity of the culprit…the owner of the unit. Apparently, the owner had a gripe with the board and took out his anger on his own unit. Fortunately, the web cam provided proof to the court which resulted in a five-figure judgment entered against the unit owner.

3. Tensions within this air park community were reaching all-time highs. The board president reportedly directed his two Doberman Pinschers to attack the association’s treasurer because she “slandered” him at the last board meeting. The treasurer’s husband didn’t take too kindly to having to pick up his wife from the ER, so he allegedly stuck a rag in the fuel tank of the president’s Cessna 172. The engine stalled on takeoff, but fortunately, the president was able to make an emergency landing without damage to plane or ego. Two mediations and a mandatory anger management course were required before the association returned to “normal.”

4. A condominium suffered water damage to two units and common elements as a result of a roof leak. The roofing company’s insurance company responded quickly and appropriately and adjusted the claim. A hiccup occurred when one of the unit owners did not wish to cooperate. After thousands of dollars in legal fees and a court injunction, the elderly owner remained obstinate. When a subcontractor finally obtained access to the unit, the owner stripped off her clothes and chased the contractor out of the building and all the way down the street in her birthday suit.

They’re each true. Seriously folks, I can’t make this stuff up. So, next time you feel like you’re at the end of your rope, remember, someone else has it worse. All of us at Barker Martin hope that you maintain your sense of humor (and save some time to get outside during this wonderful Pacific Northwest summer weather!).